Desires & Farewells
by alchemyxautomail
Summary: The beginning must always start somewhere. Kya is a Mithra living on Elshimo Island, but the solitude of her people's ways is not enough to quench that undying thirst inside her; which path will she take? Rated T for the moment.
1. Chapter 1: The Desire to Explore

_Chapter One: _The Desire to Explore.__

_The Age of Magic - date unknown_

Young eyes stared up at the stars, full of increasing wonder.

Her sensitive ears could usually pick up every noise around her; tonight, however, she heard nothing. The heavens above were all too much of a distraction. It had always been that way, and probably always would be- her mother said she was a dreamer, born to stare at those which she couldn't touch, imagining what it would be like to feel it.

Kya herself never understood perfectly though. The Mithra lived in solitude and peace, content with their lives; but she could never understand how it could be. Didn't they want to know what was out there? If others existed, just like them?

Apparently not, as she was always told to hush whenever her small but curious voice popped up. It was frustrating, but the only thing she could carry on doing was dreaming; continue staring at the stars...

She was unaware of the figure behind her, hiding amongst the bushes that created a backdrop to the small hillside she was sitting on.

But he continued to watch with careful eyes and a poised tail; he could see her hands tracing outlines in the air, and he knew she was matching stars together, creating images in the sky. He'd done it himself before.

He wanted to call her name. Kya._ Kya. _He'd heard it many times before but never uttered it himself. For she was the niece of the Chieftainess; royalty in the Mithra's eyes. Why would he ever have the right to talk to her?

The night rolled on.

* * *

><p><em>Seven Years Later<em>

"Kya! _Kya_!"

The voice stumbled her dreams and she bolted awake, white hair tumbling in front of her eyes and ears alert. Her mind was fogged with the thoughts of stars - so many stars...

"Thank goodness, you'rrre awake!" A figure bustled into her room and thrust back the covers, causing the young Mithra to squirm with annoyance.

"I was just about to wake up!" The cold air clung to her bare skin and her tail twitched with irritation; this was one of the few things that could create a bad mood in her mornings, but her maid never seemed to understand that. Instead, the older Mithra just seemed content on waking up her mistress as frustratingly as possible, practically dancing round in the room in her daily cleanup, blonde hair tousled from the wind outside.

"How do you manage to get everrrrything in such a mess?" The maid tutted, scooping up odd items from the floor; but she was ignored as Kya walked past, gracefully entering the back room with a black cloud seemingly hanging over her head. Her first thought had been that she needed clothes. And quickly.

It wasn't like her maid hadn't seen her naked before - and many Mithra had no boundaries when it came to showing off their bodies, she knew that - but today she felt uncomfortable. Like... she needed to be covered up.

Her clothes hung neat over her windowsill - certainly where she hadn't left them - and so she grabbed the nearest garment, pulling the brown and white fabric around her chest before sealing it at the back. Behind her as she dressed, the noise continued; not stopping until she'd just closed the belt around her waist.

Silence fell for a few moments and Kya realised she was alone again, a wash of relief spreading over her.

...Then she remembered. She was twenty today.

A smile graced the Mithra's lips, almost a content grin; this meant feasting... this meant_ fun_.

Her maid let out a surprised meow as Kya bolted past her, leaping outside and dodging any obstacle in her path; she had to find her mother, organise something, organise everything- the Chieftainess's palace loomed ahead of her - the tallest building on Elshimo Island, for sure- and then...

She stopped.

There was a group of them, all hustled round one hut, all listening intently; Kya could hear a voice as she drew closer, loud yet quivering in the air.

"...and there was a lot of them, let me tell you! Creatures like us, but without any tails, and ears on the sides of their faces, by their eyes! And some could do magic, amazing magic! It was such an adventure, let me tell you!"

Kya's ears twitched. The Mithra telling the story was old, cross-legged on the floor, long grey-white hair hanging tattered down across her shoulders; however, there was a spark in her eyes which Kya had hardly ever seen before - a spark of excitement, confusion, even fear. The audience in front of her spoke with hushed voices, many contemplating the story that the old Mithra was telling; Kya caught a few words, her own heart starting to race: _"Do you think it could really be true? That there others, like us, but so differrrent?"_

"Nonsense!"

The sharpness of the word snapped through the air and many of the surrounding Mithra jumped, turning in surprise; Kya herself flinched and quickly looked over her shoulder, finding one of the palace guards standing there, a growl evident in her features.

"Nia, stop telling everyone such storrries!" The spear in the guard's hand wavering slightly and the crowd quickly began to disperse, leaving the old Mithra sitting there, frowning in their wake but silent.

Irritation swept through Kya at the unwanted interruption; she wanted to know more about the strange land that the elder Mithra had travelled to, curiosity pumping through her heart. However, a hand laid itself heavy on her shoulder and she turned, the guard from before still standing there, stern as ever.

"Kya? You must report to the Chieftainess's palace at once- your mother awaits you therrre."

Kya nodded in response, giving one fleeting look behind her at the answers she wanted to know before walking away from them, fists clenched; then she promised herself.

_I will return tonight._

* * *

><p>The wine was making her head buzz; they'd really gone all out, just for her birthday. Wait, was it even her birthday anymore? She couldn't remember...<p>

_Then she was running. Her feet were bare - her entire body was unclothed - and she was running, faster than ever before; in front of her, at the top of the hill, was a silhouette of a figure, the background behind them engraved with stars. Her heart pounded harder as she drew closer, her mouth opening to call out - but her voice faltered, her mind stuttering as she realised that the person was different from her; she could see no tail behind them, see no ears perched on their head..._

The sound of someone's purring laugh rolling out loudly made her snap awake, despite the hustle around her; her mind was fuzzy, blurred, but her dream was still so clear in her head - how could she have forgotten what that old Mithra had said earlier?

Everyone was either dancing or laughing, and no-one noticed as she slipped out.

Retracing her steps, Kya found the hut from earlier, evidence of a long-gone crowd still painted in the dirt; the dim orange light of a fire flicked across the floor from the doorway, getting brighter as she approached.

"Hello?"

The old Mithra jumped and turned at once with wide eyes as Kya poked her head round the doorframe, hesitance in her eyes; the two stared at each other with tension for a brief moment before the elder sniffled, expression melting into a steady frown.

"What do you want, young one?" Kya held back a sigh of relief as the other Mithra accepted her entry, making her way into the small and cluttered living space; there were odd items littered everywhere, mainly plants and books.

It took a moment for her to work out where to sit, eventually placing herself opposite the elder by the fire; then she spoke.

"I heard your... your storytelling earlier." Kya began, only to have her companion snort in response.

"Storytelling? It that what you call it?" The older Mithra shook her head with contempt, obviously irritated. "Let me tell you- no," - she stopped Kya as the younger Mithra opened her mouth to speak - "Let me tell you... I have been on many adventures. _None_ of which I make up."

"Adventures?" Kya's eyes lit up with curiosity and she leaned forwards, hair falling about her neck; "What kind of adventures?"

The elder studied her for a moment.

"You rrreally are a curious one, aren't you?"

Kya blushed and she laughed.

"It's alright, child. I'm happy to retell my memorrries to anyone who will listen. What is your name?"

"My name... It's Kya."

"Nia. It's a pleasurrre to meet one who's name rhymes with my own. Now, let me start off with the beginning of my journeys..."

Time spilt over as Kya anxiously listened to the elder Mithra's tale, fists clenching and unclenching; she drank in her words, images of ships and mighty battles against beasts forming in her mind as Nia's memories span themselves into her imagination.

"The others... I never saw much of them. Only one glimpse. They stood taller than us, just by a little; but with none of our proud earrrs and none of our lengthy tails. They wore strange clothes and carried unusual weapons, unlike ours..." Nia's words trailed off, leaving a lengthy pause behind them.

"Did you ever talk to one?" Kya's head tilted as she stared intently at the Mithra in front of her, eyes unmet.

"Talk...? No! Oh, no. Never. We were only scouts, after all, sent to explorrre the land and report back. But, maybe one day..." Nia's eyes misted over before she frowned, shaking her head.

"What am I saying? The Chieftainess would never allow it; it is not the Mithra way to explorrre. And anyway, I am too old now." A sad smile graced her lips and her ears folded back before she continued speaking, her words catching Kya's attention once more.

Their conversation carried on throughout the night until daybreak, dawn's light seeping in through the windows; the fire was long burnt down by now, only a small wither of smoke pathetically trailing into the air. Farewells were exchanged before Kya left, taking with her the memories of another and a burning desire growing stronger in her heart.

_The desire to explore._

* * *

><p>The all-nighter had left Kya oddly refreshed; her mind was spinning, whirling with emotion. After learning that there were new lands out there, places to be explored - she couldn't keep still, she couldn't think of anything else - how could she? This was in her dreams, in her heart- in her soul...<p>

She'd never really understood what the elders had said about choosing your own path of fate until now. It was like... she'd been enlightened; she suddenly knew what she wanted to do.

"I want to travel."

The sound of something breaking was not exactly the reaction she'd anticipated from her own mother.

"Kya! You can't!" The Mithra's high-pitched voice soothed down to a number of tuts as she idly kicked at the broken bowl on the floor, eventually bringing her eyes up to meet her daughter's.

"Darrrling... You know that you must take over the position in the council from me when I become an elder! Which won't be long, you know." Kya frowned as her mother's hands cupped her cheeks, forcing herself to smile.

"I know, mother..." The skin contact between them broke almost abruptly as her parent turned away sharply. "But... It's something I want to do. I _need_ to do. You see..."

"No, Kya!" The maids around them stopped from their cleaning and began to stare at the pair; Kya flinched slightly at the harshness in her mother's tone, anger bubbling up in her stomach.

"You don't understand! This means _everything_ to me, I don't want to be stuck _here_ for the rest of my life, it's not-"

"You cannot! It is impossible for you to travel, as well as any other Mithra- you don't-!"

Both voices were cut off as a shadow emerged from the doorway, faces tilting upwards; at once, the servants in the room bent forwards in respectful bows, leaving Kya and her mother the only one's standing.

"My dearrrrest sister... Whatever is wrong?" The Chieftainess swept forwards into the room, long dark hair braided down her back, a few glints of silver here and there evident amongst the darkest strands.

Kya shifted uncomfortably as her mother put on her best smile.

"Nothing... Nothing is wrong, sister- I am just telling my daughterrr... what is best for her." Her smile widened as the Mithra stole a glance at her child, receiving only a sultry glare in return.

"Oh? I would like to hearrr about this... I too see Kya as one of my own, darrrling sister..." An amused purr echoed in the Chieftainess's throat and the tension in the room build up another notch.

The silence broke suddenly as one of the servants dropped something behind them, causing the three Mithra and everyone else in the room to flinch; the Chieftainess's eyes narrowed and she waved a hand, dismissing the maids and waiting until they'd scurried out, returning her gaze to her sibling once more.

Kya's mother hesitated before her smile faltered into a faint one. "Kya... she wishes to travel- to other lands. I have told her no but, no she will not take for a answerrr..."

The eldest Mithra's body seemed to freeze and Kya stared at the necklace around her neck, wondering where the jewels for it had come from; surely, not this land could produce such sparkling gems...

"Kya?" The Mithra jumped at the sharp sound of her name, eyes staring into her aunt's ones. "I said, is this trrrue? You wish to travel?"

Kya's heart stopped for a brief moment before she nodded.

Their eye contact lasted for another few seconds before the Chieftainess suddenly turned, body stiff.

"I see... You are not the only one. I have had another group of young Mithras wishing to trrravel the world as well."

Her words seem to echo throughout the room and for a second, Kya's hopes were lifted skyhigh- that was until, she noted the tone of utter contempt in her aunt's voice.

Her mother however, simply stared in horror.

"But they cannot! How can they even think..." The shock and anger flooded throughout her tone, her hands raising to her chest.

The Chieftainess remained quiet as she stared out the nearby window, apparently lost in thought.

It was a while before she spoke again but, when she turned, there was fire in her eyes.

"Their disregard for tradition has... angerrred me, my dearrr sister. But I cannot stop them; they seem set on it." Her footsteps seemed to get louder as she approached the other two Mithra again, sweeping inbetween them on her way to the door; she paused, her back to them.

"Their actions will not go unpunished however; anyone who goes seeking adventure will never be able to returrrn. I will make sure of that."

Her aunt's smile stayed with Kya many moments after she had left the room. It was a smile of the worst kind; a deep, dark promise that she was almost certain to keep.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes: SO... hey! This is me, writing FFXI fanfiction. I just couldn't resist. I'm in love with Mithras and the entire game itself...<strong>  
><strong>But yeah. I've tried my bestest to get everything right... If you wish to know more about the history of Mithras and what-not, google it. ;o<strong>

**I've tried to not overdo the rolling of r's - I know it may be rather annoying for some people to read. If it's still annoying then I'm sorry. ;; But a Mithra's gotta do what a Mithra's gotta do!**

**That's also the reason that Kya - the main Mithra here - doesn't actually roll her r's. **

**Anyway, any critique, comments, etc, is very welcome and appreciated. ;o Hopefully this will end up becoming quite a large piece, if I manage to continue with it...**  
><strong>Thanks for reading. :D<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: A Lost Farewell

_Chapter 2: A Lost Farewell_

There was a new look in her mother's eyes.

At first, Kya couldn't work out what it was; fear? Confusion? Anger?

It was only when her mother next spoke to her that she figured out what it was.

"I've lost you, my daughterrr. I've lost you."

She could only stare at her mother's back as she turned away.

It was then that she finally made her mind up.

It didn't take long to find them; for one, their names were all over the village. They were the ones who were betraying their own race by going against the Chieftainess's expectations, breaking their long traditions... They were outcasts now.

But to Kya, they were heroes.

She tentatively followed their trail to the edge of the forest and found the group of them - three female and one male - where it was rumoured that they were preparing to leave; the girls were all talking and laughing but the guy however... he seemed silent, focused, haunched over a bag with his back facing Kya so she couldn't see him properly. She watched them with nervous eyes from afar, until one of the girls finally piped up.

"Oi, you! I know we're prrretty, but staring is prohibited!" There was another burst of amused laughter from the three girls, causing the male to glance up so Kya could see his face for the first time. He had a slender jaw, almost feminine, skin slashed by the familiar Mithra markings that were on most faces; it was his eyes however, which caught her attention. They were piercing and dark, standing out from the apparent lax appearance that was practically dripping from the rest of him - they seemed to cut into hers but she couldn't look away. _Who was he...?_

She was even more surprised when his eyes widened with realisation, standing upright with stiffness in his position.

"You're the niece of the Chieftainess." His voice was soft yet split through the girls' laughter like a sharpened knife, causing quiet to fall heavily over the group of them.

Awkwardness flooded into Kya's chest but she swiftly nodded.

"I am but- but-" The young Mithra gulped, trying to choose her words carefully but failing; "-I want to join you!"

The three girls stared at her before one finally spoke.

"You really do? You want to... explorrre with us?"

Kya found herself nodding again, fists clenched by her sides.

"I don't care who I am- I don't care what my aunt says. Or my mother. This... is what I want to do." Strength seeped it's way into her voice and she found the courage to lift her head up a bit higher, jaw set with determination.

The three Mithra girls burst out laughing again.

"So deterrrrmined!" "Don't care what my aunt says!" "Brrrilliant!"

Kya's cheeks burnt with embarrassment, fingers digging into her palms; the girls' amusement continued for a few neverending minutes before one of them spoke again.

"Okay- surrre! We said that anyone could join us. Just make sure you prrrepared!"

It took a moment for Kya to process what the girl said, her heart uplifting; "I... I can?"

"Do your earrrs work properly?" The girls' had returned to their packing, their attention back on what was important again now that their entertainment had past; "Of course!"

Heart pounding, Kya's face lit up into a smile, meeting the eyes of the male Mithra once more, joy filling her-

She was only greeted by a dark look and her own smile faltered, unsure.

_Am I really walking the right path...?_

* * *

><p>The next few hours were exhausting.<p>

First item on Kya's list of preparation was to get all her belongings together; she realised that she had way too many clothes for a single Mithra and ended up giving half of them away to her newfound friends, who babbled over them with much delight. Although she found their childish and girlish ways rather irritating, she was finding herself thinking them of almost... endearing in a way; she'd never had any proper friends and although they were annoying, they were bright, always managing to uplift her somehow - whether it be their contagious laughter or just the way they danced about.

She soon discovered that their names were Aditi - a rather tall, slender Mithra with short-cut blonde hair and a beaming smile - Trin - the most serious one out of the three, with long dark locks that trailed down her spine - and Libi - the shortest out of all of them, her braided hair an almost luminous red-orange and a personality to match. The male with them was called Kuri.

"He's rather..." Kya found herself trailing off when they first mentioned him, nervous as all three pairs of eyes suddenly trained themselves on her.

"Handsome? We know!" Libi burst into giggles as the others joined in, causing Kya's face to burn pink.

"No! Well- I mean- he's just- he looks so-..." The Mithra sighed as she realised that no-one was listening, going back to her packing.

However, she did find herself sprouting a new interest in the strange male Mithra who looked so dark; there was an air of... mystery about him. None of the group seemed to know anything about him at all, except for the fact that he spent most of his time in solitude. It had surprised them a lot when he had stepped fowards to join them.

"He just came out of nowhere! Saved our hides, rrreally." Aditi piped up when Kya had asked what had happened.

The three of them - Aditi, Trin and Libi - had been friends almost since birth; they'd always been close and thought of each other as sisters. They all shared the same desire inside them; they wanted to explore, to travel. They'd heard about the elder's tales and, like Kya, found themselves a new urge burning in their souls.

Kya had smiled when she'd heard all of this.

The difficulty, however, came when asking the Chieftainess for permission; they knew that no other Mithras had really travelled properly before, not to discover. They were just at the edge of their dreams being shattered when Kuri had stepped forwards and said that he would be joining them.

"Well, as male Mithrrra are rather rare here, it caused uproarrrr..." Libi bit her lip and spun her finger around the end of her red-haired braid, before continuing; "but he was so... adamant! You could see it in his eyes; no-one could stop him. Good thing, rrreally..."

Curiosity lit up in Kya's eyes and from that moment on, she could never look at Kuri in the same way as she'd done when she'd first laid eyes on him; he still seemed so focus, so calm, but there _was_ something in his eyes. Part of her yearned to find out, but she could never bring herself to speak to him - whenever words had to be exchanged, he appeared to make it as short as possible before moving on, as if any contact was forbidden.

It only made her even more frustrated; but, luckily, she had other things to focus on.

A few days later after Kya had met the four Mithra who were so soon to become her companions, they were ready.

Most of her was excited, she could hardly keep still; she was going to finally follow her dream, finally fulfil the desire that kept nagging at her everyday; but there was also the fact that after this, she would never be able to return home. Her own mother had seemingly abandoned her, refusing to even be near her daughter whenever she was around and keeping herself well away from anything and everyone.

It created a small sad hole in Kya's heart.

She'd thought about writing a letter for her mother; but there were no words. What could she say? That she was sorry...? Because she wasn't - this was what she wanted. It's what she _needed. _But her own parent didn't seem to be able to understand that.

It was only when she was about to leave her house for the last time that her mother finally emerged.

There was an awkwardness between them as mother and child stood in the corridor, eyes downcast; there was no anger in the air though, only... sadness. And loss.

A movement made Kya glance up and she saw her face being studied, a hand suddenly placed on her cheek gently.

"Take care, my child."

She could only nod as her mother turned away and vanished; the last time that she would see her.

Her feet seemed heavy as she made her way outside, casting one final fleeting look at the home that she'd spent her childhood dreaming in; tears found themselves in her eyes but couldn't escape, watching as her companions made their ways towards her, the same look of loss in their eyes.

A crowd had gathered to watch the five Mithra setting out; however, there was silence. No-one said anything as the group stepped through the corridor of people that had been created, all eyes watching closely at those who they would almost certainly never lay sight on ever again.

It was only when Kya had reached through into the very edge of the forest that she finally turned back to give her final farewell.

"Goodbye..."

* * *

><p>Sparks flew from the edge of his sword as he sharpened it.<p>

It always seemed like such a menacing job to him; but he had to do it. 'A sword has to be sharpened, my son' - that was what his father had always said to him. Always.

He still felt so young.

"Zan!"

Distracted, he glanced up from his work, eyes heavy with tiredness.

"It's time."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes: SO... THERE WE GO. Sad chapter, really, but still a happy one, I guess. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, YOUNG ONES!<strong>  
><strong>The ending may seem a little confusing, but all will be revealed in time. ~ <strong>

**Thanks for reading. :D Any comments are much appreciated!**


End file.
